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John Constantine
"John, me boy, you've had some daft schemes in your day, but if this one goes pear-shaped... you're in for a right kicking." Character Stat Sheet Public Information John Constantine is a chain-smoking misanthrope that stands around in the rain half the day in a dingy trenchcoat. He's drunk more often than not, and haven't seen him hold a job in forever. Come to think of it, wasn't he a member of that horrid punk band, Mucous Membrane back in the '70s? He's been in and out of Ravenscar Psychiatric Institute, anyway, so he's not really a sane one, is he? The Hellblazer, Constantine is one of the most powerful occultists in the world, to hear some tell it. Others say he's just a trickster on a lucky streak. Rumor has it he's fought gods and demons alike-- and other rumors say just being near him is like enough to get you killed. History A would-be biographer cornered Constantine for his life story. He received this monologue, a bar tab for 134 quid and came up missing his wallet. "Working class. Dad's dead o' the lung by the time I'm a tot. Mum drinks 'erself into the loony box by the time I'm twelve. Old enough to work, she says, an' she's right. She died in there sometime 'round when I was twenty. Never did...anyways, street jobs, numbers runnin', occasionally a copper knickin' me by the ear an' 'aulin' me off to the public school. Which was worse than the reformatory, which I also saw a fair bit." "By my twenties, I picked up music an' magick both. I'd always seen ghosts and shite, just figured I was daft or it was all the dope I was doin', but no, real thing an' all. Me an' some lads formed a band, Mucous Membrane, even had a little taste o' success. Not that we got money fer it, it all went in the vein or up the nose or into the fanny o' whatever floozy was hangin' 'round. Magick...I was better at magick than music. I liked it, even started usin' the fake stuff, y'know, card tricks an' rabbit out o' the hat, cause then they still think the real deal's a trick an' ya don't get nobody goin' all queer on ya or lookin' at ya like a freak." "Then...me an' some friends, one night, a coven, whatever stupid thing we called ourselves...we got wrecked an' we summoned somethin'. Somethin' we shouldn'ta been touchin', not in a million shiting years, but we're so bloody full of cock an' balls that we think we are in-fucking-vincible. That's the night I saw most o' my best friends in the world get eaten. Just chomped up, right in front o' me eyes. Took only a few minutes, 'fore I managed to get my wits and close the portal. Ye might think it takes a long time to mutilate an' eat four grown men...boys...whole. But it just takes a minute, when yer a demon o' the right stripe." "Should've given it up, then, but just sunk in deeper. Gonna protect other people, make sure they didn't make my mistakes, like I even knew a jar full o' piss yet. But I got better. Got a reputation, made a few friends, made a lot more enemies. Had a couple o' the weird beards try to apprentice me, y'know, train me up right, but just as like they wanted to stick it up me arse. Turnin' that down really pissed 'em off. But I kept pushin', handled some things that'd make their whiskers turn right quiverin'. An' if I was a bastard and treated a few people like shit along the way and used up all my friends and favors, an' I drank more and more so's I could forget the shite I'd seen, well, who's business was that but my own?" "Got cancer for a bit. Got uncancered, an' that's a long story yer not gonna get, although the tale gets 'round enough if you know who to ask. Poked around some wit' the superhero set, all them bright colors and capes an' All Hallows masks. Kiddies, mostly, well-meanin' but stupid. 'cept the Bat. You watch that one. Nobody's fool an' not a lick o' humor. I mean, I c'n tell 'im to bugger off, but I'm me. Most've ye'd be soakin' yer trousers if he looked at ya hard, and right to do it. Then the Merge almost happened, an' I held the ground, wardin' an' stitchin' the walls together with spit and thread an' duct tape and my own farkin' bile and somehow we hold it all together. Mostly. But now it's a whole new world. Neighbors come to call. Well, I ain't got a casserole for 'im, but I won't mind sharin' a pint, if they're of a mind. An' maybe they slip a little scratch that way, when I'm a needin'. Speakin' o' which, would you mind gettin' the bill while I slip off to the men's? I'll be a-checkin' out here right shortly." The biographer never saw Constantine again, although he did get a strange postcard once, with no stamp or markings, of the silhouette of a trenchcoated man walking on the moon, with the Earth rising in the background like dawn. Looked like he was smoking a cigarette, but it was a little out of focus. Couldn't quite see his face. Nothing that would hold up in court, anyway. Personality Dick -- Constantine isn't the nicest guy. Sure, he can be passingly tolerable when absolutely necessary, but in general, he's an asshole. Even to people he's trying to help. Actually, especially to people he's helping. Addict -- John is a chain-smoker, an alcoholic, and an adrenaline junkie. He is never far from a pack of his smokes, a flask, and a confrontation with something eons older and significantly more powerful than he is. Cynical -- Seeing as much as he's seen, John is pretty cynical about the motives of others. Humanist -- He believes in humanity's ability to care for and drive itself to greatness-- as long as the creepy things that go bump in the night stay out of it and leave them alone. To him, angels and demons are no different, just a bunch of whinging gits who interfere too much in humankind's evolution and chances to be who they are. He will put himself on the line, body and soul, time and time again to defend humanity as a whole. Cruel sense of humor -- Constantine is a bit of a sadist when it comes to dealing with people and creatures that he puts himself up against. Confident -- Constantine is many things, but lacking in self-confidence isn't one of them. He knows he's one of the most powerful magicians in the world. He's faced down gods and demons. He can out-think, out-snark, out-wit, and out-blast anything, human or not, that throws itself against him. The only thing that makes him flinch is the face he sees in the mirror. Liar -- Truth is an asset only when it's an asset. Otherwise it's a liability. John is capable and more than willing to look someone in the face, even a friend, and bald-faced lie to them if he feels its for the greater good. Emotionally Distant -- John doesn't bother getting close to people. As he's pointed out before, being his friend tends to be a terminal condition. Trickster -- Unlike most magicians, Constantine rarely uses magical spells, unless he has to, especially in combat. Constantine faces most of his challenges relying primarily on his cunning, quick-thinking during fights, vast knowledge of the occult, manipulation of opponents and allies, and an extensive list of contacts. Logs Category:DC Features Category:Homo Magi Category:Special Characters Category:Elite Characters Category:Solo Category:1953 Births Category:Veteran Superhero Category:Arrested or Slowed Aging Category:Family Matters Category:Available Characters